Hilarity Isshu-s
by Suzuran-Lily of the Valley
Summary: Join Hilda, Hilbert, Bianca, and Cheren through a funny Pokemon journey full of trolling and non-stop cussing. Who will become the Pokemon Champion? Ready to find out! (REQUEST FIC)
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

**Hilarity Issues**

_a story by Suzuran-Lily of the Valley_

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**_AN: Hi hi! My name is Suzuran (or Suzu for short) and this is my first fanfic! eep! I'm so excited! So anyways here's the story!~_**

**Rated T for cursing and mild themes  
**

**Disclaimer: Suzu-chan doesn't own Pokemon or it's characters, just this story. Suing her will be a waste of time. **

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_*location: Unova*_

**CHAPTER 1: THE INTRODUCTION**

**Rosa**: _*runs in, panting*_ Guys, guys guess what?!

**Everyone**: What is it Rosa?

**Rosa**: We're gonna be famous! *_eep!_* Isn't this exciting?!

**Nate**: News flash Rosa, we're already famous.

**Rosa**: Well….we're gonna be famous-er than before!

**Hilda**: Famous-er? How?

**Rosa**: _*points to title*_ LOOK! WE'RE STARING IN A FANFICTION!

**Bianca**: Really?! OmiArceus this is sooooo awesome!

**Hilda**: _*reading title*_ Hilarity. Issues. Hilarity Issues? What kind of title is that?

**Rosa**: Who cares?! We're gonna be famous!

**Cheren**: -Er. You forgot the –er.

**Rosa**: Whatever! Wait, I'm not wearing the perfect outfit! My life is ruined!

**Nate**: Seriously? You're worried about that?!

**Rosa**: Hey! A girl got to worry about their appearance while you guys put on whatever the hell you like!

**Cheren**: That's not true whatsoever! I pay attention to my appearance… _*fixes tie*_

**Nate**: You people disturb me…

**Hugh**: _*looks at reader*_ Hey guys….there's people staring at us…..

**Bianca**: What?! Where?!

**Hilda**: _*points to reader*_

**Bianca**: Oh my fucking Arceus! There is someone staring at us!

**Rosa**: _*looks as well*_ Aaaaahhh! Don't look at me! I'm hideous!

**Nate**: _*rolls eyes*_ Rosa you look fine.

**Rosa:** No, I'm a crime against nature!

**Bianca**: _*peers in the reader's nose*_ Whoa….there's a jungle in there!

**Cheren**: That's so gross.

**Hilda**: Bianca, don't look in the reader's nose!

**Bianca**: But they had so many nose hairs!

**Hugh**: Seriously?! I want to see!

**Hilda**: _*smacks him on the head*_ No, don't do that dumbass!

**Hugh**: Oww~

**Rosa**: _*sobbing*_ I can't believe I'm exposed to this without the right outfit! I don't even have makeup on!

**Hilda**: Girl you look fine!

**Rosa**: Excuse me! I like to look good other than you who wears short-sleeved shirt and booty shorts every damn season of the year!

**Hilda**: At least I look sexier than you! You have a Chinese bon-bon hairstyle and look like a 7 year old turned 15!

**Cheren**: I don't like where this is going…

**Hugh**: Ooo! Bitch fight!

**Nate**: Shut up stupid! _*smacks him in the head*_

**Hugh**: Oww! Why do I get hit in the head all the time!?

**Rosa**: _*continues to fight*_ First of all that didn't make sense and second…. _*starts to argue*_

**Hilda**: _*argues as well*_

**Bianca**: *_screams at the top of her lungs*_ GUYS QUIT FIGHTING! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

**Nate**: BIANCA! YOU'RE JUST MAKING MORE NOISE!

**Bianca**: NO I'M NOT!

**Cheren**: WHY ARE THEY SCREAMING?!

**Hugh**: I DON'T KNOW?! WHY DON'T WE SCREAM AS WELL?!

**Cheren**: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

**Hugh&Cheren**: LALALALALALALALALALALALA~!

**Nate**: NOT YOU GUYS!

**Everyone**: _*is yelling and carrying on*_

**Hilbert**: guys.

**Everyone**: _*still yelling*_

**Hilbert**: _*a little louder*_ Guys!

**Everyone**: _* ignores him, yelling still*_

**Hilbert**: YO, SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M READING MY TEXTBOOK!

**Everyone**: _*shuts up*_O.O…..

**Bianca**: You're reading a textbook?!

**Hilda**: I can't believe your reading! The only book I ever saw you read was that one back in Trainer School!

**Rosa**: You mean the one where the Spoink lost his pearl?

**Hilda**: Yep! He cried for 3 days straight!

**Hilbert**: I was like 7 years old!

**Hugh**: Dude, you stopped crying yesterday!

**Hilbert**: Whatever!

**Bianca:** Guys, I feel that something strange is going to happen…

**Nate**: Like what Bianca?

**Rosa**: I still don't have the right out-

**Bianca:** SHUT UP I'M TALKING!

**Rosa**: O.O…..

**Bianca**: Anywho~….BITCH YOU MADE ME FORGET!

**N**: Bitch? Who's the bitch?

**Hilbert**: HOLY SHIT NUGGETS! IT'S THAT N GUY!

**N**: Hello peasants~

**Hugh, Cheren, Hilda, Bianca, Nate, and Rosa**: _*stands there in fear*_ …

**Hilbert**: *_looks them with a What-the-fuck?! face*_ Why are y'all standing there for?! RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIVES!

**Everyone**: ….AAAH! *runs away*

**N**: _* is saddened*_ I guess they didn't want my presence._ *claps and a flock of Pidoves grab onto him and carries him away*_

_*END OF CHAPTER 1: Introduction*_

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**EDITED:**

**Hugh**: Whew! We lost him!**  
**

**Rosa**: And the others as well.

**Nate**: Guys...bad news.

**Hilda**: What?

**Nate**: We're not in this story...

**Hugh and Rosa:** WHAT?! WHY?!

**Nate**: Well the author had to make some editing...buuuut we can be in the post-script. as it says in this letter. *_holds it up_*

**Rosa**: Maybe Suzu will make a story for us!

**Hugh**: That's the point, duh.

**Nate**: Well that settles it! Whose up for some ice cream?

**Rosa**: Hellz yeah! Let's go, go, go!

_*they all leave*_

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_**AN: And that's the first chappie! I hope you enjoyed it. This will be a request fic so when you review and have an idea don't be shy and share it with me! I will probably and hopefully add it in the next chapter I write. NO FLAMES WHATSOEVER! And I also need help on the title. Hilarity Issues sounds real dumb. ^^' Anyway I talk to much. I post new chapters whenever I can so don't expect me to post the next day. I'm done talking now. Ciao~ **_

_**Suzuran-Lily of the Valley** _

_REVIEW!_

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_CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED: 6/6/2013  
_


	2. Chapter 2: Adventure Time!

**Hilarity Isshu-s**

_a story by Suzuran-Lily of the Valley_

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**Rosa****_: _**Suzu-chan I'm mad at you!

**Me**_: _What did I do?

**Rosa**_: _You updated yesterday yet it was for the only one chapter you have! That's mean!

**Me**: It's not my fault the website exited before i even got a chance to finish it.

**Rosa**: Yes it is! Wait, no it's not...whatever! Ugggh! Why do you have to always be right?!

**Me**: I have no clue? Anyway Rosa I didn't want an argument just you saying the Disclaimer for me while he's on vacation.

**Rosa**: The Disclaimer is already on vacation? Wow...anyway~ Suzu-chan doesn't own Pokémon or its characters, just this story. Suing her will be a waste of time. Literally. Unless you need toothpicks, some socks, underwear, and water.

**Me**: Okay Rosa...that was a little bit too much.

**Rosa**: Whatever. Onto the story.

**Me**: This story is rated T for mild themes and swearing. Read at your own risk!

**Rosa**: To. The. Story!

**Me**: Fine! Sheesh...

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_*location: Nuvema Town, Unova*_

_*setting: Hilda's house*_

**CHAPTER 2: Adventure Time!**

**Narrator's P.O.V**

Ahh...Nuvema Town. Such a peaceful place. The bird Pokémon sings sweet songs to each other, chirping happily. The townsfolk greeting other townsfolk with kind " Good Morning's" and "How do you do's." The children laugh and jump rope or play hopscotch. The Sun shines brightly behind puffy clouds as the wind flows by. It is seemed that nothing can disturb this peaceful setting-

**Bianca**: WAKE THE FUCK UP HILDA! IT'S A BRAND DAMN NEW DAY!

**Narrator**: Fuck I spoke to soon...

Wake up, wake up, wake uuuuuuppp! Come on Hilda! Its adventure time and I want to start it earrrly!" Bianca whined as she pummeled Hilda's brunette head with a random pillow she found. And trust me when I say random. "Adventure Time?! Where?!" The brunette girl jerked awake sending her blonde friend on the floor with a loud _THUD_. Before Bianca could send the girl a rather nasty retort, a annoyingly intelligent voice was added into the room. "I'm sure what Bianca means is the start of our Pokémon journey Hilda not the stupid television show you watch at 7:30." Cheren, the owner of the voice spoke up. Hilda glared daggers at the bespectacled teen then at Bianca. Who smiled sweetly back. "You better hurry up Hilda before I pound into that sweet little face of yours!" And no it wasn't meant to be perverted if that's what your currently thinking. I'm pretty sure Hilda and Bianca are straight. Anyway~ off of that note...the brunette quickly turned to find new clothes, the others staring intently. As Hilda turned around an angry blush spread across her face.

"Get the fuck out my room you pervs!"

So much for a peaceful morning...

"Come on Hilda! Your taking forever!" The blonde girl complained as the brunette read the letter that was attached on the box containing 4 Poke balls instead of 3. "Shut the fuck up Blondie and wait, sheesh." Answered the brunette. "It appears that there are 4 poke balls instead of 3...but there's only 3 of us." An angry groan jolted all of the teens. "Hellooooo! I'm the fourth one you numbskulls!" Exclaimed Hilbert who looked exactly like Hilda except in a masculine way.

"I call Tepig!" yelled Bianca.

"Me Oshawott!" said Hilda

"I'll take Snivy." Cheren said.

"Then which one will I get?" asked Hilbert. Bianca looked over the letter. "You get a super-rare Pokemon!" The blonde girl held out the remaining Poke ball to the brunet. "Go mystery Pokemon!" he yelled. After those words the Poke ball cracked open and out came a...

Magikarp.

"Whooooooa." The teens looked at the Pokemon in awe. "I wonder what moves it does! Idea! Why don't we have a mini Pokemon tournament, right here right now!" Bianca exclaimed. The others were hesitant yet agreed. "Me against Hilbert! Go Tepig!" The fire Pokemon eyed the useless fish one. Then the tournament started.

"Tepig use Tackle!"

"Magikarp use...whatever move you have!"

Bad, bad idea. Of course, as we expect it would do, Magikarp used Splash. Which did nothing. Thus having the firey pig Pokemon slammed into the fish knocking out. "Bianca wins?" Cheren said rather confused. The brunet looked at the fainted Pokemon. "I don't think the author likes me that much..." He finally said through all the confusion. "Yeah...you have bad luck in your hands Hilbert..." Hilda agreed. "Annnnnyyyyyywwwaaay~ whose next?!"

As I said before, so much for a peaceful morning.

As soon as the tournament was over, Hilda's room looked like a small tornado ran through it. "Maybe we should tell your mom..." Bianca finally said after the teens stared. Of course the brunette's mom was open minded and told them she was going to clean the mess up. "It's time to meet the Professor! See you guys at the lab!" And with that Cheren and Hilbert walked away. "See you there Hilda!" Bianca said as she walked away as well.

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**Me**: Ok I feel like I'm going to get Carpal Tunnel so I'm going to skip most of the beginning.

**Rosa**: Go back to the story goddamit!

**Me**: Ok sheesh. Needy bitch...

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"Now here's a Pokedex! Use it to record data for all the different Pokemon you encounter! It even has a camera! And boys do't use it for any pornography or I will hunt you down personally." Professor Juniper warn the 2 male teens who gulped at her warning. "Now, go out there and explore the Unova region before I kick y'all s asses out!"

The teens ran out intimidated by the female professor. Outside, Hilda's mom waited for them. "I got you guys Town maps! Use them wisely." She said as she gave one to Hilda, Cheren, and Bianca then running out of them. "Sorry Hilbert...I don;t have anymore." The woman apologized then walked away. "You have it baaaad Hilbert." (**Me**: Hehehe, I'm so evil) "Thank you Bianca for pointing out the obvious." the ticked off brunet said. The blonde giggled. "Let's take our first walk into Route 1 together!" The teens linked arms then walked to the Route, finally out of Nuvema. "We're finally free! I'm out. Later peasants!" The brunette girl started to walk into the tall grass, almost immediately getting attacked by wild Pokemon. "Nevermind...I'm staying with you guys."the girl limped back.

**Narrator**: This journey was not going to start well. Whatever, I'm not complaining.

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**Rosa**: Wow...that was alot.

**Me**: Yep, anyway here's your pay Rosa. *_gives her 5000 Pokedollars_*

**Rosa**: Holy fucking shit! I get money for being a Disclaimer?!

**Me**: Uh...yeah. You weren't doing it for free.

**Rosa**: I'm gonna bye matching outfits for me and my Lilipup! See ya Suzu! *_leaves_*

**Me**: Bye Rosa! Anyway! Here's my update. Maybe there will be one tonight. Maybe. If this story does good I will make a second one for the characters of Black/White 2, so Review!

_Ciao for now~ _

_Suzuran-Lily of the Valley_

_P.S I give thanks to MyNoseAgreesWithMe for the new title sugestion, Guest #1 and #2 for the reviews. Cookies for all y'all! XD_

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**NEXT STOP: ROUTE 1 AND ACUMULA TOWN! REVIEW!**


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